Whether you’ve lost a loved one recently or are supporting someone who is grieving, it’s important to remember that grief is a deeply personal journey. There is no one way to grieve, nor is there a "right" way. Since grief doesn’t follow a set timeline or pattern, it often feels very lonely.  

At Maitri, we believe in the power of community. We know it can go a long way, especially during life’s hardest moments. In the cancer space, loss is not uncommon. In honor of losing a friend to cancer today, we wanted to offer guidance for those coping with loss and those who want to be there for others in their time of need.

Navigating Your Own Grief

Losing someone close to you is jarring. 

If you are grieving, remember that your feelings, be them sadness, anger, guilt, denial or even numbness, are all valid and deserve space. 

The following approaches may help you navigate this difficult time:

• Allow Yourself to Feel: Grief is a natural response to loss. Let yourself cry, reminisce, and express emotions in ways that feel right for you. Try journaling for more quiet, private introspection, talking to a trusted friend to lighten the load, or find a creative outlet in art or music.

• Be Patient with Yourself: Healing takes time. It’s okay if your grief feels different from someone else’s. Allow yourself to heal at your own pace. 

• Practice Self-Care: Though this might be the last thing on your mind, eating well, getting enough rest, and different forms of gentle movement like walking, stretching or even yoga can help with stress and emotional well-being.

• Prepare for Triggering Moments: Anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays may bring back feelings of sadness and grief. Take a moment to think about how you’d like to honor your loved one’s memory on these occasions, it could be lighting a candle, sharing stories, or continuing a tradition that was meaningful to them. And most importantly be mindful to give your feelings a place.

• Seek Support: While grief is personal, it is also shared, and you don’t have to go through it alone. Sometimes, simply knowing someone is there can be a source of comfort. Consider talking to friends and family who have shared your loss, join a support group, or talk to a therapist or counselor.   

Supporting Someone Who is Grieving

Many people struggle with what to say or do when someone they care about is grieving. The fear of saying the wrong thing can sometimes lead to saying nothing at all. 

If you’re looking for ways to offer meaningful support, consider these:

• Acknowledge the Loss: Use direct and compassionate language. Instead of avoiding the subject, try saying, “I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m here for you.”

• Actively Listen: Sometimes all we want is someone to listen. Suggest they share memories, talk about their feelings, or even sit in silence if that’s what they need.

• Offer Specific Help: Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” offer something more tangible, like “Can I bring you dinner this week?” or “Would you like me to help with errands?”

• Respect Their Grieving Process: Everyone experiences grief differently. Some people want to talk, while others need solitude. Be patient and let them take the lead in how they seek comfort.

Whether you are grieving or supporting someone who is, know that healing takes time, but with kindness, patience, and support, navigating loss becomes more manageable.

For more information from the American Cancer Society, please see:  https://www.cancer.org/cancer/end-of-life-care/grief-and-loss/grieving-process.html